Update! : 'Turns out It was just insecurity' : Girlfriend Admits She Snapped Under Pressure When Boyfriend’s Mute Kid Learned Sign Language Faster & Better Than Her, Says She’ll Give It Another Go but on Her Own Terms

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  • 01
    Font - UPDATE: AITA for calling my girlfriend selfish for refusing to learn sign language UPDATE First I do want to clear up some stuff. I'm not sure why so many people act like I sprung it on Amanda. I never said I did, and I certainly didnt. I told her upfront about Ruby and was clear that I expected a partner to be willing to put in the effort for her sake. Also I never criticised Amanda for not being fluent. I had no expectation it would be easy or quick, hell I struggled at first. I've neve
  • 02
    Font - I want to thank everyone for the advice and responses. I definitely don't agree with everything but I can see both sides.
  • 03
    Font - First I do want to clear up some stuff. I'm not sure why so many people act like I sprung it on Amanda. I never said I did, and I certainly didnt. I told her upfront about Ruby and was clear that I expected a partner to be willing to put in the effort for her sake. Also I never criticised Amanda for not being fluent. I had no expectation it would be easy or quick, hell I struggled at first. I've never insulted her or had
  • 04
    Font - issues with her progress. My only issue was that she refused to try anymore. While my words were immature, it was only after she basically said it wasn't worth learning sign language that I got upset and said it.
  • 05
    Font - I find the idea it's too soon honestly strange. Wouldn't it be worse for us to be engaged or married before I know if she's willing to put in the effort for my daughter? I don't expect perfection, just for her to try. understand that Ruby needs to be able to communicate in other ways. She has to for school. But that doesn't mean she should be forced to at home. Besides all this I did consider our relationship serious, I love Amanda.
  • 06
    Font - With that aside, I think it's mostly been resolved. Amanda came over and apologised for how she acted. She explained that she had been trying to hide how much she was struggling, and got frustrated seeing how quickly Mia was getting it while she understood nothing. Basically Amanda was seeing how quickly and 'effortlessly' I was getting close to Mia, and was feeling like she was useless with her lack of progress,
  • 07
    Font - especially knowing how important it was to me. We had a long talk about it. I apologised for my immature reaction and explained that it was always non-negotiable for me. And I brought up that if it would make her miserable and resentful it may be better to separate. Amanda did not like that and we talked about our relationship and expectations. I
  • 08
    Font - considered it serious the moment she met Ruby. While Amanda didn't see it quite the same way, she knew she wanted me in her life and understood that meant she had to try with Ruby.
  • 09
    Font - Amanda has decided to find her own professional teaching. She thinks it will be better for her frustration to show there than with Ruby or I. I'll keep teaching Mia, because she really enjoys it. It doesn't matter whether she is fluent, as long as she's trying. I know Ruby will appreciate the effort. For now Ruby will still have to use other methods to communicate (she was anyway), but hopefully one day she won't have to.
  • 10
    Font - Unfortunately my brother stands by what he says. He said that even though Amanda has 'given in', it was still unfair of me. That I'm 'lucky' Amanda is willing to put up with it. I've honestly lost a lot of respect for him with all this. I don't understand how he can think that about Ruby and I.
  • 11
    Font - Still, overall I'd say it's gone well. Thanks for the advice, whichever way you lent. I think we'll be able to get through it.
  • 12
    Font - Snarky_but_Nice 2 hr. ago Your brother is a jerk. We may "put up with" an annoying personal habit, but phrasing it the way he did as if learning to communicate with your daughter is some kind of burden? You and Ruby having to put up with his attitude is a much bigger deal.
  • 13
    Font - Different-Leather359 · 50 min. ago Look at it this way: if all goes well Amanda will be helping to parent your daughter. It's totally unfair to step into that role of you aren't willing to put in effort for the kid. Your daughter wouldn't be able to respect her and it would feel like you choose someone else over how she feels.
  • 14
    Font - Your brother, however, seems to think it's too much work to accommodate your daughter. Yes, learning a new language is hard, but your daughter deserves people who are willing to do that. You are teaching her how it is and isn't ok
  • 15
    Font - to be treated. She is worth more than what you're brother thinks, and he is being terribly ableist and just in general not a good influence. What he said is very insulting.
  • 16
    Font - Primary-Holiday-5586. 2 hr. ago Dump the brother
  • 17
    Font - xdem1124 hr. ago. edited 4 hr. ago I feel like OP is accepting the bare minimum of "good will" towards his daughter because of the unbridled animosity his in-laws have. People showing super basic kindness seem great compared to them. In reality, his brother and current girlfriend just aren't "there" in my opinion. Their support is pretty limp-wristed. He
  • 18
    Font - really should focus on his little girl right now when she's already so isolated..dating someone emotionally immature enough to prioritize their own hurt feelings over fostering a relationship with your daughter is really not the play.
  • 19
    Font - Procrastinator_1979 37 min. ago But he's not asking her to be fluent. He's asking her to keep making the effort to learn. There's a big difference.

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